X-Men Haiku #6
He runs through walls and
Says, “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!”
What a worthless putz.
I will, however, give him credit for diversifying. First we have Juggie from the Comics:
But before I continue with “Cinema Juggernaut”, allow me to interject with a brief shout out to Juggie’s dearly departed young friend Sammy Pare, also known as Sammy the Squid Boy, also known as possibly the most annoying character in the history of the X-Men. Sammy’s passing is, in my mind, the only time in recent memory that that death of a fictional child was universally celebrated by readers. I personally didn’t mind him all that much. He probably would have been a real help to my high school swim team, if my high school could have afforded a pool, or bathing suits, for that matter. Or if Sammy were both real and not annoying.
And now here’s Juggie from the movies, as played by the ever-surly Vinnie Jones in “X-Men 3: How to Ruin a Potential Cinematic Hat Trick”, as directed by Brett Ratner”. I’m sure that someday he’ll finally get the coveted role of “sensitive guy”. I think he’s earned it after wearing this outfit and for allowing himself to be filmed in it.
Aaaaaaand finally, what no one has actually been waiting for…an actual juggernaut!
Which one’s yer favorite? I think I’ll stick with the original.
1 year ago
